In basketball, it is well known that a team of average players that are well-coached will most likely beat out a team of highly talented individuals that have no game plan. Similarly, the relationship calls must come from God. The players are simply there to execute the plans that have been drawn up by God.
Now, in basketball the coach normally gets everybody in the huddle to have a conversation with them. The same is true in a relationship – God wants to speak to both parties involved in the marriage so that there is no doubt about what the mission is and what it entails. In the unfortunate situation where one partner decides not to make the huddle, it is up to the other partner (team mate) to take the lead and explain the mission – whether it is leader or not.
Digging in further, consider the situation where the leader hardly ever participates in the relationship huddle. In this scenario, the team mate becomes the de facto leader – and the team leader becomes a leader by title only. This is what happens when a man decides to abdicate his leadership responsibilities by not keeping in close contact with God. His wife has no choice but to take up the responsibilities of leadership. When she does this, she secretly hopes that he picks it back up. If he does not, there is a part of her that starts to lose respect for him. When this happens, they do not play together as well as they could, and they start to rack up losses. Unfortunately, this is what causes teams sometimes to be disbanded. In relationship terms, this is what causes people to separate or divorce.
For more information, please read the minibook The Real Meaning of Submission